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Mothering Blues...
Coleen turns 3 years old today. Even with the accumulated anestheisa shots I have had for the last 10 years, giving birth to her is something that I would vividly remember -- every emotion, conversation and surreal moment is videotaped in my head. As such her birthday is very much worth celebrating...even more than our wedding anniversary (which incidentally comes after 5 days).
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. ~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895
Oh how true this is...
Now that Coleen is three years old, she has reached a phase where a little spanking and scolding may be needed. Being away from the Philippines makes this more difficult because in the US cultures are very different. My ideal for discipline would always go back to how I was disciplined. It is a cliche, I know...but I never imagined that I would actually become like my mother.
When I was a kid, I didn't really understand why my friends can do whatever they want or have whatever they could have and I can't. It seems that I was always different and my Mom seems to restrict any indulgence we could possible have -- play, toys, time with friends. The only explanation given to me was that we're poor and that we cannot afford it...or that we are not like other people. Now I realize why...
My Mom was a strong believer of delayed gratification, and that has been instilled in my senses more than anything else. She wanted us to realize that resources are limited and we don't get things as easily as we we think (even if during that time we actually could)...and that we shouldn't desire what others have just because everybody else has it.
I wanted to teach my child the same thing and instill the same kind of discipline to my child. I just don't know how to do it given how opinionated and head-strung my daughter is, unlike me who was a bit timid. It is also not easy given that I have a different way of disciplining my child compared to my husband. I suppose I am tougher...maybe because that was how I was brought up with.
For me parenting is still a struggle and is a constant learning process. Every phase has a different joy, excitement, fear, sadness attached to it...but every phase is exciting experience in itself.
I love being a parent...and it started 3 years ago today. So today is a celebration not only of Coleen's birthday, but also a celebration of this lifelong adventure called parenthood.
calmAll women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. ~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895
Oh how true this is...
Now that Coleen is three years old, she has reached a phase where a little spanking and scolding may be needed. Being away from the Philippines makes this more difficult because in the US cultures are very different. My ideal for discipline would always go back to how I was disciplined. It is a cliche, I know...but I never imagined that I would actually become like my mother.
When I was a kid, I didn't really understand why my friends can do whatever they want or have whatever they could have and I can't. It seems that I was always different and my Mom seems to restrict any indulgence we could possible have -- play, toys, time with friends. The only explanation given to me was that we're poor and that we cannot afford it...or that we are not like other people. Now I realize why...
My Mom was a strong believer of delayed gratification, and that has been instilled in my senses more than anything else. She wanted us to realize that resources are limited and we don't get things as easily as we we think (even if during that time we actually could)...and that we shouldn't desire what others have just because everybody else has it.
I wanted to teach my child the same thing and instill the same kind of discipline to my child. I just don't know how to do it given how opinionated and head-strung my daughter is, unlike me who was a bit timid. It is also not easy given that I have a different way of disciplining my child compared to my husband. I suppose I am tougher...maybe because that was how I was brought up with.
For me parenting is still a struggle and is a constant learning process. Every phase has a different joy, excitement, fear, sadness attached to it...but every phase is exciting experience in itself.
I love being a parent...and it started 3 years ago today. So today is a celebration not only of Coleen's birthday, but also a celebration of this lifelong adventure called parenthood.
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